Thursday, June 23, 2016

World’s largest pizza

When I was a kid
our local Pizza Hut
decided to bake
attempting to set a record
a Guinness Book of World Records record
And they were going to assemble this amazing pizza one block away from my home
in the “New Gym”
which is exactly what happened

So that one morning, we all trekked over to the gymnasium
like pilgrims
to see a pizza the size of a basketball court
all laid out on a plastic sheet
a pizza so big
they had to bake it in sections
because no oven on earth could even cook a quarter of it
And we slowly walked around the pizza
soaking in every detail
because this was historical

You don’t want to rush through something like that

There was no doubt this would make the Guinness Book
the same book we ordered every year
to study people who were the very best in every category
Longest fingernails
Largest twins
Most days spent in a treehouse
And much much more
Including—of course—the world’s largest pizza
a record we would now own
This was going to put Searcy, Ark on the map
Seriously exciting
I’m not even kidding about that

And after the humongous pizza was finally completed
we bought some of it
You could purchase it by the square foot
It was cheap … a lot cheaper than regular pizza
Can you believe it?
World record pizza at an affordable price?
We SAW and ATE the world’s largest pizza
No one could ever take that away from us

Except that someone did

Just a short time later
some other pizza joint in some other town made a larger pizza
and we never even made it into the Guinness Book
But even so
we knew
there was a space in time
when we had been a part of something big

There was a day when the record belonged to us.


  1. Actually, Guinness didn't consider it for the record, since it was baked in sections and assembled, rather than baked as a unit.

  2. It is so funny to see this here. We were just driving around campus yesterday, and Lawrence pointed out the "New Gym" to his daughter, and we talked about the pizza and the fact that it didn't go by the rules, as Dr. Ganus said above. And today I open my Blogger home page and see this. :-) (I've always wondered how they managed to plan that whole project so well without checking into the criteria for competing?)